Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
