You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
