and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
