Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
