remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize