He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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