If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
