Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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