We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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