i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
