Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
