So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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