I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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