I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
