Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Pants 0. Shit 1.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
