we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
