you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
