the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
