At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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