Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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