doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
