Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
