So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
