so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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