Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
