ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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