Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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