grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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