The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
