it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
