I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
