He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I need water and some morals
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
