Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
