you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
