Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
