I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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