apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
