Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
