my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize