I showed him my bush... on skype.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
