by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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