he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
