i jhust puked up my retainher.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize