I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
