I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
