This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
