You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
