ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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