Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
