oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Hippo gnu deer
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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