Did you just see the Batmobile???
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
