girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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