I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
