Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
People in love make me want to vomit
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize