in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I smell like Dick and happiness
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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