i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize