The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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