went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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