Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
