guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
