I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
