I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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