just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
