Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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