just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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