just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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