At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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