Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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