it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
