Only a mothe r could love this liver
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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