dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
