Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
