Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
