More tranny stories later!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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