If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize