Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
