i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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