...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
