respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
