yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
