I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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