i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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