dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
