Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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