Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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