The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
