my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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